got skillz?

skillful
unskillful

I've used these two words in a sentence more time in the past week, than ever before. but what do they even mean?

on New Year's Eve, I set the intention to practice Right Speech.

now ... I'm investigating and coming to terms with what this really means. beyond my gossip and sarcasm, there is something more important to review. not just right, but also skillful speech. to understand how I use words, language, expression, my writing to communicate and to be more aware of how my communication effects others.

last night, we talked about responsibility. I questioned, have I been truly responsible with my speech? did I use my speech skillfully?

it goes beyond right intentions but actually putting forth skillful action and well realized words.

I've begun a new task for the next thirty days, I am holding myself accountable to my word. in the mornings, I state my intentions for the day, meditate, shower, get dressed and live the day by doing what I've set the intention to do. my life to-do lists are very simple; daily tasks, homework, chores, meditation, yoga and reading. nothing that involves expectations, just making sure I'm doing my life and the footwork to complete tasks that need to get done in the midst of my life in motion.

so back to this skillful thing.
what does it mean to be a skillful practitioner.....
this is something new for me to learn. it's not something I can answer right now or today.
my point of view isn't right, it is skewed by my ego. I have lived a lifetime of thinking I know what is best for me and for everyone else, but all of my being 'right' has been totally utterly wrong. oh no, what?

yes, my view has been skewed.

back to the drawing board.
my practice takes a new shape a new form.

time to step back, and remove my need to label and opinionize (yeah, I made up a word) things. this is gonna take some work!

I definitely hit a new layer of the onion and whew, man, it really made me cry. damn sting as you cut this thing open!

all my righteous advice, and solution knowing brain is swirling into a bubbling mess that needs to be extricated from my brain. fortunately, there is an answer to this.

to keep sitting with what is.
sit every morning.
sit every day.
take care of my heart, mind and body.
breathe.....

and get clear that the knowing, may truly be knowing nothing at all except what is in this very moment.